Internet Love!
My life is going so well these days. Everything had been going great and here I go creating drama. Why is it that when our lives are mediocore we have to introduce drama into it? Well, let me go and tell you what I did. Now I am not a spring chicken. I am a ripe 35 years old. I think I am pretty sexy and hip for my age. I hang with the best of them. Well, I have been here in Atlanta for about a year and a half. I have not been in one relationship since I been here. You would think in the "black gay capitol" of the world I would find one person to settle down with. I know there are relationship orintated people here but I guess I haven't positioned myself to meet them. Nevertheless, I met this guy over the internet. Mind you I am not into the internet thing. We kicked it and things were cool. He lives on the West Coast. So needless to say he arrived here on the 1st of the month. It is the 7th and I am so irritated by him. Did I tell you I am 14 years older than him? The maturity levels are totally different. I feel like I am dealing with a child. Hey, 21 is legal! He is looking for something I can't give him. I am not into raiseing someone else's child. Evidently his parents didn't raise him. Because the basic things like washing your ass everyday is a issue. What did I get myself into? Now if I was a sex fiend he would be perfect for the useing. Nice front and back. He is a little cutie. But I have had my sex crazy days. I am over meaningless sex. So no I haven't had sex with him. I did test the merchandise though, lol! I can't see myself having sex with him because he is looking for love and I don't think I could give him the love he wants. I need a man that could love on the same level that I can. That is mature and has at least lived this life more than 21 years. He doesn't know about paying bills and liveing. We don't relate on any level. So your asking me why I let him come to my house? Hell, I didn't realize this until after he got here. Before he got here I felt like I could deal with anything as long as the person wasn't a crackhead and was looking for a monogamous relationship. Boy did I lower my standards. I let the need of me wanting to be in something of substance control my judgement. Well, I have to see this situation through. Have any one of you ever had a internet love? Did it work?
Why is it when all other aspects of our life is going so well, we jeopardize those aspects for the one thing we are missing or want?
Excuse any mistakes, I am trying this mobile blogging on my sidekick. I think this will help me stay current on my blogging.
posted by TBone @ 2:23 PM
3 Comments:
No, I haven't had any internet love affairs. Does the young man know you don't feel him in a romantic way?
Yeah, he knows exactly how I feel. I am a very communicative type person. So there has never been any secret about my feelings.
To answer your first great question, "Have any one of you ever had a internet love? The answer is clearly in my case - HELL NO, NO MA'AM (as the kids say)!!!!!! I will not attempt that avenue again, lol. My story is simple and this blog section would not be able to hold the saga in writing. However I will address more in detail my story on my blog page. You know it personally as my best friend & fam, so there is your answer, lmao.
*Did it work? There is no possible way it could have worked other than the Blackberry cellular with service, $450.00 dollars worth of shoes he purchased me, designer "gifts", great dining, the party in the Las Vegas fruit loop, & the spectacular Las Vegas scenary from my location of temporary living. "Fly in, Fly out" is my motto, at their expense when a so call (internet love) heads for disaster. WTF, was "she" thinking. Anyone who moves from the internet world into reality will see thru mess & BS immediately if they have any sort of true common sense. That is, those in thier right mind. The condo I was suppose to be a part of, for her own self serving distorted validation, was a two bedroom disaster with her 1970
& 80's taste, even though it was a condo community & unit. In essence the late James Brown/Eartha Kitt catwalkin' look-a-like queen, paid me for my time and definitely lost control of the situation with nothing but transparant lies.
If anyone attempt this type of adventure - remember to always have a plan B, C & D, because the odds is that it WILL NOT WORK! (BEWARE OF FAKE PICS!) Remember the way you get a person on the internet, you are not the only one!
***Why is it when all other aspects of our life is going so well, we jeopardize those aspects for the one thing we are missing or want? There are so many dimensions to this question, but a great answer is - ADVENTURE & CONTROL, to what we already know will be the end result. Self Sabotage in most studies because of certain personality flaws or low self esteem in many others.
With all this being said I may blog this topic soon as well as Professional Male Prostitution, lol. One!
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